All of You Page 11

  “Have a good day, Princess?” he asked.

  “I did. Just made it home. Come over whenever.” I replied feeling giddy.

  “Be there in a half hour.” he texted back.

  “Be careful—it’s a little slippery out.”

  “Will do. See you soon.”

  “*kiss*”

  Tabitha and I were sitting at the kitchen counter looking over her homework when there was a knock at the door.

  “Keep working, Tabby Cat. I’ll be right back,” I told her. I tried to contain my giddiness as I held myself back from running to the door. I opened it and saw Lincoln with a huge grin on his face that must have echoed my own. He was wearing his blue puffer coat, jeans, boots, and sunglasses and was covered in snowflakes from his walk from his vehicle to the house. They were quickly melting, leaving him glimmering with water drops. He looked mouthwatering.

  He reached a hand up and scrubbed the top of his head, trying to remove the snow he had collected, and he kicked his boots against the doorframe in an attempt to not track snow into the house. But I didn’t care about any of that. I grabbed the front of his coat and pulled him inside as I stood up on my tiptoes and reached up for a kiss. He immediately wrapped his arms around me and pulled me up off my feet. I let out a small squeal and wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my warm lips against his. He opened his mouth, and I felt his tongue brush against my lips. I tightened my grip on him and gave him access to allow our tongues to dance together.

  “Jilly! Who is it?” Tabitha called from the kitchen.

  “Dammit,” I said quietly while breaking the kiss. Lincoln was still holding me up against his chest.

  Lincoln smiled big. “Mm… you can warm me up like this any day, Princess,” he said and kissed me again quickly before setting me down.

  I had to take a moment to compose myself while Lincoln took off his coat and boots. This man made my heart beat fast and my head go foggy.

  I grabbed his hand, entwined our fingers, and led him to the kitchen. “Tabitha, look who came to have dinner with us,” I said as we entered the kitchen.

  “Yay!” Tabitha exclaimed after she and Lincoln exchanged greetings. “Are we going to have waffles?” she asked hopefully.

  “No, sweetie. We’re going to have a proper dinner tonight. So I want you to finish your homework while I start making it, then while it cooks maybe we can go play out in the snow,” I said and looked at Lincoln to find him smiling.

  “What do you want help with?” Lincoln asked me sweetly.

  “Um…” I paused. I hadn’t expected him to offer to help. “Oh, I know. You can crumble up the bread. Like, make super tiny crumbs.”

  “Super tiny crumbs. Gotcha,” Lincoln teased. I smiled and started on the rest of the preparations for making chicken parmesan.

  ~~~~~~~~

  “Okay!” I announced as I put the meal in the oven. “We’ve got forty-five minutes until we need to check on this. I think Rebecca should be home by that time,” I said as I closed the oven and turned to face Lincoln and Tabitha. “Do you want to play outside or do something else while we wait?”

  “Play outside!” Tabitha decided.

  “All right – outside it is!”

  We bundled up and headed outside. Lincoln grabbed a shovel that had been propped against the house and began shoveling the sidewalk as Tabitha and I started rolling snow to make a snowman.

  Forty minutes later, the sidewalk and driveway were clear of snow and Lincoln and I were placing the head on the top of the snowman’s body. Lincoln picked up Tabitha and held her close to the snowman. She draped an old scarf around the neck of the snowman and shoved a carrot in for the nose. I pushed two stones in for eyes and smiled big as I watched Tabitha run off to the backyard to find sticks for his arms. I turned to look at Lincoln. He had a serious look on his face, and he embraced me in his arms and pulled me close to him.

  “You are so amazing,” Lincoln said and kissed me softly.

  “Because I made a snowman?” I asked him dubiously.

  “No. Just because you’re you,” he said, looking down at me.

  I shook my head. “No. You are amazing. Thank you for shoveling the sidewalk,” I told him as I brought my gloved hands up and rested them on the front of his coat.

  “You’re welcome,” he said and leaned down to kiss me again. But this kiss was slow and building. Our lips pushed against each other with force, and I felt warm all over. I was sure the snow around us had to be melting with the heat of this kiss. He moved one hand to my upper back and the other to the curve of my hip. For a brief moment, I felt like flinching away, but I knew he would never be able to feel my scars under my coat so I allowed his hand to stay there. He pulled my hips closer to him and moaned softly. The sound ignited my passion. I brought a hand up and clutched at his short hair on the back on his head, scrapping my nails lightly on his scalp through my thin gloves. I felt him shudder and moan and he cupped the back of my head, holding me to him.

  A car horn honking close to us pulled me out of my passionate daze. Rebecca had pulled into the driveway and was staring at us with a smug look on her face.

  “Mommy!” Tabitha called as she ran out from the back of the house. Rebecca got out of the car and scooped Tabitha up, kissing her face repeatedly as Tabitha giggled.

  “Should we go inside, Tabby Cat?” my sister asked her daughter. “Oh don’t mind us, we’ll just be inside,” she said to Lincoln and me. I blushed and hid my face in Lincoln’s chest as he chuckled and rubbed my back.

  The four of us sat around the dinner table joking and laughing while eating dinner. Lincoln, Rebecca, and even Tabitha gave me praise on a delicious meal, but it was Lincoln’s praise that meant the most to me. His laughter echoed through the house as we ate and I felt as if my heart was going to burst. He fit in well with our little family and I couldn’t have been happier. We had ice cream for dessert, and afterward we all did dishes and cleaned up the kitchen.

  “Come on, Tabby Cat. Let’s go watch a movie in my room,” Rebecca said as she held out her hand for her daughter to take. Rebecca gave me a look, and I knew she was subtly giving Lincoln and me some alone time.

  “Thanks, Becca,” I said as mother and daughter left Lincoln and me alone in the kitchen. I felt Lincoln come up close behind me while wrapping his arms around my waist. He kissed my neck softly, causing chills to go through my body.

  “What do you want to do tonight?” he asked as he pulled me against his chest.

  “Mm… what do YOU want to do tonight?”

  “Just be with you,” he said sweetly and kissed my neck again. I closed my eyes and leaned back into his hard chest. I let my head drop back on to his shoulder and tipped it to the side to give him better access to my neck, and he took full advantage. He attacked my neck with his lips, and I got lost in pleasure. I had never experienced these feelings before, and when he began nibbling on my earlobe, I sighed and tried to compose myself.

  “Do you want to go for a walk?” I asked. I was worried Lincoln would want to take things farther, but I needed to go slow. We hadn’t even known each other for a week yet, and as enamored as I was with Lincoln, I knew things were moving too fast.

  “A walk?” he repeated, breaking the contact of his lips against my skin.

  “Yeah. Just around the block or something.”

  Lincoln sighed. “Whatever you want, Princess,” he said and kissed me quick once more.

  We bundled up and made our way down the sidewalk away from my house. It had stopped snowing, but a fresh coat of fluffy snow covered the bushes, trees, and mailboxes that lined the sidewalk. We held hands and walked in silence until Lincoln cleared his throat. “I never did replace your coat,” he said.

  “No, you didn’t. It’s okay, though. I think I’ve permanently claimed Rebecca’s.” I looked down at the coat I was wearing and ran my free hand down the front.

  “That’s not your coat?” Lincoln asked.

  “No, it’s Rebecca’s.�
��

  “You don’t have a coat of your own?” He sounded concerned.

  “Well, yeah. I have my everyday winter coat,” I said, looking up at him. “Don’t worry about my coat, Lincoln.”

  “I do worry. You deserve someone to worry about you,” he said and squeezed my hand.

  I sighed. He didn’t know me well enough to worry about me. I decided to test the waters. “Can you believe we didn’t even know each other a week ago?” I asked with a breezy tone. Lincoln didn’t answer, so I tried again. “I almost didn’t go to the parade. Did I tell you that? Imagine where we’d be right now if I hadn’t gone.”

  Lincoln stopped walking, and I turned to look up at him.

  “Stop it, Jillian,” he commanded.

  “Stop what?”

  “Are you worried we’re moving too fast? Is that what this is about?” he asked and I looked down without answering. “Okay. I know it’s been less than a week, but I just want you to know I care about you and I want to get to know you better. That’s all I want. I just want to spend time with you.” I looked up at him and saw the truth in his eyes. He brought our linked hands up and rubbed my cheek with the back of his gloved hand. “I’m just asking for a chance.”

  “I know. I’m sorry,” I said to him.

  “Stop freaking out,” he teased. I smiled and nodded. “Now come here,” he said with a demanding smile and tugged me closer to him. I stepped closer and bought my arms up to his shoulder. I ran my fingers through his short hair at the base of his head. He smiled and brought his lips down to mine. The kiss started off sweet and light and, despite my fears that we were moving too fast, I pushed back hard against him. It was inevitable. I was becoming addicted to kissing him.

  He brought his hand up to my head to hold me against him as he opened his mouth and pushed his tongue against my lips. I responded, opening my mouth and pulling his tongue in to meet mine. He moaned into my mouth and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling my hips up against his. I gasped and broke the kiss but didn’t move away from him. We looked each other deep in the eyes and remained there, just enjoying holding each other while trying to slow our breathing.

  “Are you cold?” Lincoln finally asked.

  I thought about it for a moment. “No. Not at all,” I realized.

  He smirked and grabbed my hand. “Let’s go back.”

  Lincoln left once we returned from our walk. He gave me another smoldering kiss on the sidewalk, waited for me to return to the house, and then drove off. I was glad he had come over, but I was also grateful he was leaving early. I did have an early morning.

  He was going to be out of town the next two nights for away games. I was trying to take this one step at a time, but I already knew I was falling for him fast. Maybe a few days apart would be good. I made my way to bed, and just before my head hit the pillow I received a good night text from Lincoln. I replied with a kiss and drifted off to sleep.

  ~~~~~~~~

  The next three mornings, I woke without a text from Lincoln. I wasn’t surprised, though. He had already admitted that was too early in the morning for him. Plus he had two late night games and he was traveling. There was no way I expected him to be up to wish me good morning. I didn’t mind, though. It gave me a chance to send him the first text of the day. We exchanged texts throughout the day while he was gone, and I watched both of his games. When Lincoln and his teammates won, I sent a picture of me with a happy face giving the camera a thumbs-up, and when they lost the next night I sent Lincoln a sad goofy-face picture.

  We talked on the phone the night he got back to Chicago. He wanted to come over, but I assured him we would see each other the next day. He didn’t seem happy about that, but I didn’t want to become completely wrapped up in him.

  “That’ll be Friday night. We could do, like, an actual date. If you want…” I told him as I lay in bed.

  “Mm… date night. That sounds good. What would you like to do?” he asked.

  I had no idea what a good date activity would be. I mean, we could do dinner and a movie, but I didn’t want to suggest it in case he thought it was lame. “Is it too much pressure if I ask you to surprise me?”

  He chuckled. “No, I can do that as long as you’re cool with anything…”

  “Yeah, I don’t care what we do…” I paused. “…as long as we’re together.”

  “Well, we could be together right now, but you won’t let me come over,” Lincoln said, teasing.

  I bit my lip and rolled over on my side, holding the phone close to my ear. “Mm… I’m already in bed. What on earth could we be doing if you were here?” I asked with faked innocence, knowing I should not be encouraging him. I heard Lincoln inhale sharply in the phone.

  “Jillian…” Lincoln whispered into the phone.

  “I miss you,” I admitted.

  “Princess. I miss you too. Now go to sleep so I can see you tomorrow.”

  “Okay. Text me the details for tomorrow night,” I requested and we said our good-byes and hung up. I lay there for minute, thinking back over the conversation. It had been cruel to tease Lincoln that I was in bed without him. I wanted to give this man my heart, but I didn’t know if I could give him my body. My ugly, scarred body. He deserved better than that.

  I woke up Friday morning in a bad mood. I fell asleep arguing to myself over whether to tell Lincoln to truth. I knew he deserved the truth, but I liked the way he made me feel. I liked how he looked at me like I was beautiful and I knew that would end if he knew what I looked like under my clothes.

  Lincoln had texted me at noon saying he would pick me up at five and to ask Rebecca for advice on what to wear. Apparently he had asked Rebecca for date ideas, although how he had gotten Rebecca’s phone number, I wasn’t sure. My sister was off from work and noticed my mood as soon as I got home from work. She insisted on helping me find an outfit to wear, and as we picked through my closet, Rebecca asked me what was wrong.

  “Oh, nothing,” I lied. “Just tired.”

  “Are you excited about your date?”

  I shrugged. I probably should show more enthusiasm. “I suppose. When did you talk to Lincoln?”

  “He called this morning. He wanted to make sure you’d like his surprise,” Rebecca said excitedly, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

  “I forced him to make it a surprise but now I’m worried. What if he takes me to a pool or something? I can’t wear a swimming suit.”

  Rebecca rolled her eyes. “He’s not, Jillian.”

  “But it’s still going to be a problem eventually if we keep up like this. I want to tell him so he can decide if I’m too ugly to date, but I don’t want to lose him.”

  “You are not ugly! Stop thinking that way,” she exclaimed.

  “Rebecca, my scars are hideous. I don’t want him to know how ugly I am, but I feel so guilty lying to him. Every time he calls me beautiful it reminds me how much I don’t deserve him.”

  “Jillian…” she began, but I interrupted.

  “But then he kisses me, and I forget all about not being beautiful. But then I worry about him wanting to take things further and I panic.” I was getting myself worked up.

  “Would you cut it out?!” Rebecca said. “You are beautiful.”

  I scoffed.

  “Think about it, Jillian. The last girl he dated was Mackenzie. She’s Miss Illinois. Winner of the ultimate beauty pageant in the whole state, right?”

  “You’re not making me feel better, Becca,” I said, cynically.

  “He had her, and now he doesn’t want anything to do with her because of how ugly she is on the inside. He can see that, Jillian. And he can see you are nothing like her. You do have an inner beauty. Even if you won’t admit you have an outer beauty. You know you are a good person. That’s what attracted him to you.”

  I sniffed. “He told you that?”

  “He didn’t have to, Jillian. I can see it when he looks at you.”

  I knew I was a good person. I knew I wasn’t anything l
ike Mackenzie. But that still didn’t solve my problem. “I still don’t know how to tell him.”

  “Baby steps, Jilly Bean. He’s not going to force you to get naked on your first date,” Rebecca said with a smile, and I blushed. “All right. You’ve got an hour and a half until he gets here. Tabitha should be home from school soon. Maybe you should take a nap?”

  That sounded nice. “Thanks, Rebecca,” I told her as she handed me an outfit and left me alone.

  I woke up to the feeling of the mattress dipping down as if someone had just sat down on my bed. I opened my eyes and saw it was significantly darker in my room than it had been when I fell asleep. I looked up and saw Lincoln looking down at me, smiling. He brushed a lock of hair out of my face and leaned down closer.

  “Time to wake up, Sleeping Beauty,” he said before pressing his lips against mine. I think he meant for it to be a quick peck, but I snaked my arms around his neck and held him close. I kissed him back strongly and only stopped when he untangled my arms from around his neck and pulled back. I frowned up at him, and he laughed.

  “If you keep doing that we’re going to miss our date,” Lincoln said. “And I don’t think your sister would like us up here alone in your bed with your niece awake downstairs.”